Thursday, October 11, 2012

happy or moody?

I usually answer this question in my weekly posts with a firm "happy." Well, I don't know if I will be able to report that next week. This morning I found myself being rather moody, in fact,  a bit of a grouch. And then I immediately felt really guilty about it.

Now, let's face it. I'm not always as cheerful as a little bird, even when not pregnant. And I'm not sure if pregnancy is really having an impact on my moods. But yesterday and today it just feels like every little thing is a big thing, like my fuse for being teary and emotional or really grumpy is cut short. I hate that feeling. I just want to go to bed for a few hours, wake up, and start this day over again. This time with a long fuse. And hopefully with the people around me suffering from mild amnesia, having forgotten my grouchiness. If only that were possible!

I don't want to blame it all on pregnancy, that would be like admitting I don't have control over my emotions, and conceding that I cannot take control and make a change. And I'm resolved, to do better, and to be happy. Not moody. Wish me luck (and if I crabbed at you, please forgive me!).

P.S.- It doesn't help that I've had a sinus headache for three days. And that my bum/hip is killing me (sciatic?). And that my back aches all the time. And that my arm feels like it is going to fall off every time I move it, after sleeping on it wrong two nights ago and waking up to it being completely numb. Two more months of these aches and pains, oh joy!

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