I've decided that I need to make friends with a doctor or two.
I've been accused of being a hypochondriac, probably since first grade. My teacher yelled a lot, and I called home sick a lot. It helped that I would get to take a pillow and blanket and go to work with my mom, where I would get Gatorade. I may have been a hypochondriac then, but now I think I just may be guilty of being conscious of what is wrong and vocal about it. Luckily A is pretty tolerant.
It does seems that there is always something wrong with me. Never major issues, just little things. For example, about a week ago, I wore sandals for the first time this season. It was a super cute outfit, but a few hours into the day my right foot started to hurt, on the side of my big toe. It started coming back to me, that these sandals, although they are Naturalizers (a comfort brand) do give me blisters sometimes. Well, after running to catch the train to work, I checked out my toe, and not only did I have a blister, but a broken blister. It stung. It ended up hurting enough that I had to stop into Smith's and buy some flip flops to continue on my daily walk. So, the blister is still healing. I've been nursing it for what seems like forever now.
Then last week I cut my right index finger on a tin can, TWICE! Same finger on two different occasions!
So far, these things have not required a doctor. Just examples of some of my minor infirmities. But last night, something weird happened. My right index toe (is there even such a thing? but I think you know what I mean) started feeling weird. It is still feeling weird. Not really hurting, but swollen and tender. It is just weird, and looks weird. It is one of those things that will probably go away in a few days, and not worth paying a giant copay to be told to take ibuprofin for.
But still, it would be nice to know a doctor that I could just give a call when I have concerns like these, or worse than these. It would also be nice to have a doctor friend that could write prescriptions for me. Sometimes I know what I have, and yet when I call doctors I have seen before, they insist I come in, or insist that I go to instacare. Then, 20+ dollars later, they give me a diagnosis I had already given myself, and prescribe me the drugs that I already knew I needed. This frustrates me unbelievably. (I'm actually having one of these predicaments today, and just hoping I feel better tomorrow. Here's to hoping.)
So doctors, want to be my friend? I promise not to call you for every little bruise and scrape, just some of them.
It has been a long and full day, of almost all good things. I went to Ogden for the store, tabled at a library screening of Food, Inc., practiced a musical number for church tomorrow, and hung out at the home of A's brother and wife, so they could go see a movie while their little one slept. While very busy, things were all good. Till just now.
I have (had) an online quiz for a class that I had all day yesterday and today to complete. It just so happened that the only two hour chunk of time I had was at the very end of the window of availability, and two hours is about how long the quiz takes. So, I got home around ten tonight, and proceeded to begin the quiz. Well, it didn't work. Somehow I can't do it, even though I had no problems with the same program on the last quiz. It says I have started my submission, yet I cannot manage to get to the questions by any means. I emailed my professor. I hope he will be sympathetic. I really did try. And now, it is time for bed. Goodnight, y'all.
Today I took my brother and sister to the airport. They are off to visit another brother, in beautiful Seattle. I am so wishing I wes on that plane with them right now. I haven't been on vacation since our spontaneous Disneyland trip in October, and I'm feeling flighty. It is especially difficult now that A and I are both in school, at different places, because our spring breaks are different weeks. We talk about doing a big trip between spring and summer semesters, but I don't know that it's going to happen. I do have a trip to the Tetons to look forward to, in July. It has almost always been cold when we go to Jackson, so I'm really excited to go in July.
So, I haven't eaten any meat since Wednesday Night. This really hasn't been too difficult, I haven't even gone too much out of my way to do it. I've eaten very well, having spaghetti, oatmeal, saag, and roasted root veggies among other things.
This was partly intentional. I've decided I don't really like the industrial food system. It is not appetizing to me. I will spare you any gross details, but knowing where my food (and most meat) comes from and how it is raised, killed, and processed is very unappetizing. I know that many people don't want to know, they would rather live in ignorance, but I feel like if you are going to eat that food, you should at least be educated about it.
In addition to this, cutting out meat will significantly reduce my ecological and carbon footprint. I feel like it is socially and environmentally responsible. I'm not saying I don't like the taste of meat, on the contrary. It is delicious. I'm also not saying I will never eat it again. For now, I will eat wild salmon and other wild-caught salmon, as well as local grass fed red meat, like Morgan Valley Lamb.
I know that meat is not the only part of industrial food that is "wrong." We consume a lot of produce that has been doused in petroleum-based fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides. They are trucked to our local grocery stores from hundreds and sometimes thousands of miles away. The average salad travels more than 1000 miles. Almost all strawberries and cherries have been grown using pesticides that are known carcinogens (and we wonder why cancer is such a problem here). In response to these issues, I have signed up for a CSA this summer. It doesn't start until June. Meanwhile, we eat organic green beans from Costco, and use frozen and bottled tomatoes from our garden. I also buy organic bananas. I plan on freezing and canning a lot more from our garden and CSA this summer, so that I don't have to rely on these toxic fruits and vegetables all winter.
These are just a few issues I have, for more information I highly suggest watching Food, Inc. and The Future of Food, as well as reading The Omnivore's Dilemma. (Also, on my list, Eating Animals.) I think if we stress too much about what we eat, we will end up frustrated and hungry. We all have to decide what we can feel good about. Some people (read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle) can eat all local, all organic. At this point, I am sad to say I cannot. However, I can stop eating meat. With ease.
My mom was a little upset when I told her this today before dinner. She had cooked meatloaf, and her meatloaf is AMAZING. I felt bad. Really. I almost gave in and had some, especially because I had been fasting all day and could have used some protein. I decided to eat sides first, some wonderful spinach and fruit salad and roasted sweet potatoes, and then see if I was still hungry enough for meatloaf. Well, I wasn't! I was totally satisfied, especially after two delicious cupcakes. (Mom: I love your meatloaf. I'm sorry I didn't eat any. This may just be a phase, but maybe not.)
So anyway, if you have to cook for me, I'm sorry. Don't alter your menu for me. This is my decision, I'm doing it to myself! And I hope you aren't offended by it. Really.
So, as of yesterday, I think I may go for a Master's degree. It would only take one more year, so I could have it in two, since I still have a year of undergrad left. I've always said that I am so ready to be done with school that I would never do grad school, but on year really doesn't sound so bad!