dream a little dream.

Some people have big important dreams that are meaningful and guide their life decisions. I have never been one of those people. Mine are often about being in high school and not going to a certain class at all till test day, feeling really nervous and wondering why I haven't been caught, or driving in a car where the steering is too hard to control and the brakes don't work. Last night I had a new dream. A baby dream.

In my dream, I had a newborn baby boy (perhaps because my bff just had a baby boy?) and his name was Jacob, after my brother. In my dream, I was very concerned that people would think that he was named after the werewolf in Twilight (perhaps because I recently heard that Jacob and Isabella are the most popular baby names right now?). Anyway, I was at some sort of family gathering with baby Jacob. He was so small and really cute, of course. Both of my grandmothers were there, as were my sisters and one of my cousins, who recently had a baby herself. They were all passing around baby Jacob, and when my cousin finally held him, she asked if I was worried about germs. I felt stupid for not asking people to use hand sanitizer. Every time he was passed along, he'd start to cry a little bit or just make some baby noises, but then calm right down, like a good baby. That's about it.

Anyway, I remember it being really important in this dream that my grandmothers meet baby Jacob. Today as I've been thinking about this dream, I've realized that there is a chance that my grandmothers won't meet my babies, depending on how much longer their bodies let them stay on this earth, and how much longer I wait to have babies. This made me really sad. I only ever met one great grandmother, my Grandma Zu. I see pictures of my other great-grandmothers holding my older siblings and feel a bit envious, like they had something special that I never had. I guess I just have to comfort myself by thinking that if my grandmas make it to heaven before my babies come, they'll still get to meet each other.

So here's my theory. This dream either means a.) my grandmas are going to live a real long time, at least three more years, b.) I'm not supposed to wait till I've finished grad school to have babies, as per my current plan, or c.) nothing at all. If it follows any trend, it is probably option c.

(PS- I tried to watch the movie "Dream a Little Dream" on Netflix, with Corey and Cory, but it was too weird and I gave up.)